More than half of all marriages today end in divorce. The fact that divorce is now common does not mean that it is easy. Divorce can bring about major emotional, legal, financial, and logistical changes.
Most people go into a marriage expecting it to last forever. So why do we have so many divorces today? The main reason is that many people get married without first getting to know themselves, and their partners, well enough to be able to make a good decision about compatibility. Then, as each married person learns more about themself, and their spouse, they realize that they are different in many ways, and they do not know what to do about the differences they discover. As this process unfolds, it is vital that couples have open communication, mutual respect, and flexibility. Couples that cannot establish the needed communication, respect, and flexibility, on their own, need to get help doing so. It is best to get help before the differences become too extreme, before each person gets too dug in to his/her position, and before too many hurtful things are said. It is especially important to resolve conflicts with your spouse if children are involved.
Most couples that are having difficulty should try marriage counseling. Even if the counseling does not save the marriage, you will still be able to say that you did everything you could to make it work. Sometimes one partner is willing to get counseling and the other is not. When this happens, it is important that the willing partner to go to counseling anyway, with or without their spouse. Many things become clearer after some individual counseling. Sometimes the unwilling spouse becomes willing after seeing that the other partner is going anyway and is serious about it.
If you have tried counseling and you are unable to make the marriage work, the first thing to do is realize that you are not alone. Their are many others who are in the same situation that you are in. You can get through it. I recommend The Divorce Decisions Workbook to help you learn how to deal with the divorce process, a process that will bring about major changes in most areas of your life. Divorce support groups are also available and are helpful.
The Divorce Decisions Workbook challenges conventional views of divorce as an emotionally exhausting ordeal or a legal and financial snakepit to be stoically endured. It presents instead the refreshingly sane view that getting organized, tackling practical matters, and giving priority to financial and legal decisions relieves much of the trauma and confusion. And it backs this assertion with dozens of easy-to-use FORM-ulas, worksheets that help readers help themselves.
This book challenges the conventional views of divorce, and presents instead the refreshingly sane view that getting organized, tackling practical matters, and giving priority to financial and legal decisions relieves much of the trauma and confusion. The Divorce Decisions Workbook addresses a full array of divorce issues including: tax implications, custody, property rights, child support, and alternatives to litigation.
Amazon Customer Review from a Divorcee in Iowa, USA
This is a very complete workbook that explains the process of getting all your items together for the lawyers and for you own peace of mind. It contains worksheets for getting everything from the marriage certificate, and childrens birth certificates, to where is the money, stock portfolio, and insurance policies. I really liked the household inventory worksheets. This made dividing up the marital assest easier for me and for my ex-husband and saved us time and lawyer fees too. I think that this is a must have book for the person getting a divorce or for anyone who wants to get their life in some kind of order.