Raising Children is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences one can have. Children have many different needs, and among them are both love and discipline. Providing both love and discipline at the same time is not always easy.
Parenting is applying a set of skills that enable a child to be happy and healthy, and to achieve his or her fullest potential. Like any set of skills, parenting skills must be learned. Trying to parent without first learning the necessary set of skills is like trying to do CPR without first learning the necessary set of skills. It can't be done.
Most of us learned our parenting skills by watching our parents apply their skills. If our parents were good teachers, and we learned well from them, then we probably have a good set of skills that we can use to parent our own children, and we need only apply those skills. If our parents were not good teachers, or if we did not learn the necessary parenting skills from them, then we need to learn those skills now, so that we can parent our children in a way that will help them to be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted, and to achieve their fullest potential.
Fortunately, there are several places one can go to learn these important parenting skills. In 1999, the American Academy of Pediatrics published a brief guide, entitled Discipline and Your Child, which was available on their web site until 2001.
For a more complete description of these important parenting skills, a book entitled How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber & Mazlish, is highly recommended. This book teaches parents how to handle common situations that they encounter with their children every day. It is concise, easy to read, practical, and very effective. It is an excellent child care book, and should be required reading for all parents. It is available at most bookstores, from Amazon.com (see below), and directly from the authors (800-944-8584). A picture of the book and several reviews are shown below.
It is also important to note that a parent's relationship with others can have an effect on a child. That is, children can be affected by excessive or malicious yelling and screaming, or violence, between adults in their home. When there is excessive or malicious yelling and screaming or violence in a home, professional counseling is recommended for the sake of the entire family.
Brad Paddock, MD
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, Kimberly Ann Coe (Illustrator)
List Price: $13.00
Amazon.com Price: $10.40
Paperback - (October 5, 1999) 286 pages
You can stop fighting with your children!
The successful parenting workshops pioneered by leading experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, based on the work of the late child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, have won the international praise of mothers and fathers and professional educators-for the simple reason that they get results! Faber and Mazlish offer skills based on new psychological insights, their own experience as parents, and what they've learned from parents throughout the world!
This easy-to-read book "Will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world" according to the Christian Science Monitor . The authors' method is supportive, friendly, and best of all, effective. It offers innovative ways to solve such common problems as:
- How to listen to-and understand-your child's concerns- How to have cooperation in your family-without nagging
- How you and your child can deal with feelings
- How to find alternatives to punishment
- How to help your child attain a positive self-image.
Amazon.com Review
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is an excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Faber and Mazlish (coauthors of Siblings Without Rivalry ) provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house. The "Reminder" pages, helpful cartoon illustrations, and excellent exercises will improve your ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. The book can be used alone or in parenting groups, and the solid tools provided are appropriate for kids of all ages.
Los Angeles Times Review
"Designed to bring adults to the level of children, and children to the level of adults, so that this happy meeting ground can truly make for harmony in the home."
Customer Reviews
"Good book, excellent summaries..., I have just finished reading the book. The examples are very down-to-earth and the best thing is that there are summary pages at the end of each section for a quick lookup. I plan to copy these pages and stick them on the refrigerator and keep another copy with me to refer when in need.
I hope to change my habits by applying most of these principles not only with my child but also with everybody that I know. This is a very good book on human relations." - Muluc from Turkey
"True to it's title, I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authoritative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. The suggested changes are fairly straight forward and common sense, but may require some practice. Fortunately there are many well illustrated examples and practical exercises to reinforce these ideas. This book strictly sticks to the topic of communication and establishing cooperation which makes it an excellent supplement to any parents existing parenting style. Teaches mutual respect without surrendering parental authority. A very good read." - Derrick from Canada
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